Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Truth Denied

Life becomes much easier when you realize that what is holding you back is simply a truth denied. The denial often comes because of a loathing of a truth, but when you surrender to belief, though your whole being hates the idea of it being true, there is freedom.

There are many examples of this. A simple, but real one for me is that I am an introvert. My sisters, outgoing and beautiful, amazed me at parties. They could work a room, charging it with energy. I tried for many years to be like them. It never worked. In a room full of people, I felt guilty or silly for wanting to sneak away someplace quiet. I would tell myself, “I should be more social.” Or “I can be more fun.” And so I was stuck in a bad cycle of not believing the truth because I didn’t want something to be true.

Now that I’m older and know myself better, there is an acceptance of who I am. No longer to I have the same drive to change, but can simply know how I was made without feeling bad about it. Believing the truth that I previously denied brought freedom.

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