A Gift of 35 Years

Late bloomer describes my development—not just in how I grew in stature, but in how I’ve developed on all levels. Many people may be further down life’s road this many birthday’s into the journey, but God put me together to meander, not to sprint. So, at the risk of revealing just how long its taken me to grow up, I want to describe what God’s birthday gift of 35 years means to me.

Freedom. God has given me a deep sense of belonging. My identity is no longer in making others happy. I can love other people, not to fulfill my need to be loved and accepted, but because I genuinely love and care for them. This freedom is helping me become more and more honest with myself and others, and it feels good!

Beauty. God has made me unique and lovely. I am more beautiful than ever. Though I may leave youth behind, I have learned to give myself more space and be more forgiving of my weaknesses. I don’t try to measure up to what other people think is beautiful, but have learned to appreciate the unique way God put me together. This is helping me be more confident, which is an attractive quality I didn’t have when I was younger.

Trust. I have experienced God’s character. I have seen God work in my life, and am confident He will continue in the future. He has loved me, and I trust He will continue to love me always.

Contentment. God has always provided my outward and inward needs. When I allow him to take care of me, he always does, and this gives me a deep sense of contentment. I do not have to grasp or strive for things, because I know his provision is deep and wide and ever-expansive.

Peace. God has always covered me with his wings (Psalm 91). There have been difficult things outside his strong and downy protection, but he was always sufficient. For me, this is the gift of peace in the sun and storms.

Joy. When emotions cast their shadow, the light of joy still shines beneath. I have joy in the freedom of belonging; joy in the beauty of creation; joy in the trustworthiness of our Creator; joy and contentment in provision; joy to have peace in any weather; joy in the longing and hope for what is to come.

Thankfulness. All of this makes me deeply thankful. I think this is why I have the wonderful joy of looking forward to my birthday each January. No matter what happens, or what I do on my special day, God gives me a deep sense of thankfulness and love. He made me and chose to put me on this earth at this exact time in history. I can’t help but smile thinking about it.

Longing. Looking back makes me look forward, and I long for what is to come. It’s not only the anticipation for more time on this great earth, but for what comes after. If the fallen state of this planet still holds so much beauty and good, what must the perfection of heaven be like?

Hope. Walking through this life, and the challenges, with God’s provision, gives me hope for the next phase of life, and the next and the next. The familiar fear that used to paralyze me at each life change and challenge is fading, and is being replaced by hope in God’s character.

I still have a long way to go, but looking back and seeing how much I’ve grown is encouraging. Like a child standing tall with his back to the wall, marking his height with a pencil, I feel proud to see the graphite mark this year, tracking my growth. And with the blowing out of the candles, I open these gifts from God: freedom, beauty, trust, contentment, peace, joy, thankfulness, longing, and hope.