"Because I love you..."

“Because I love you…”

I am learning not to spend so much of my time asking the “why” questions of life. Since many of my questions are posed as a mask to my distrust of God, the answers are not likely the most important ones to ask. So many times, I put the question up as a guard to my heart, making an ultimatum that feels impossible to fulfill. But God can do the impossible.

As I spend more of my life getting to know the “who” of God, the One who knows the answers to all my “why’s,” I begin to believe that He will tell me what I need to know in due time. My mask of questions fall away to reveal the true nature of my heart, and I am free to accept His healing of my pride, fear, and self-righteousness.

In this journey of relationship, new questions spring out from my bond with Him through our many experiences together. He knows my true and intimate story. As He and I write the story of my life day by day, I learn more and more of Him. No longer is my relationship based on the satisfactory answers to my questions, but on His love. Trust is not natural for me, but I can feel it growing.

For so long I have asked these “why” questions, and resigned myself to “putting them on a shelf,” as my mom always described it. I never understood why God, who knows all things, would not just give me the answers and settle my heart. But recently there is an answer that keeps ringing in my heart, quiet and steady. It is, “Because I love you.” My mind asks, “but why—“ and I hear “because I love you.”

It may not be the answer for which I am looking. At times, I may feel anger at this seemingly unfair answer. But the answer remains “because I love you.”

A parent does not always answer a child in the way that she wants. His love for her is not in question, nor is His ability to know. God loves me. God knows the reasons for all things. He also knows what and when I should learn. So as He and I write our story together, I will accept the answers He gives to the questions He chooses.

Jesus, help me not to base my relationship with you on the answers to my questions. Instead, let my questions spring out from my bond with You as my Savior.